When the heart cries...

Today my baby girl (Selah, she's a few months shy of turning two) and Chris (my husband) left to go to visit Hope (Chris' mom) in Florida for a week. I opted not to go with them, for a variety of reasons. First of all, mommy needs a break! I love my child. I do really I do but I am a full-time stay-at-home mother, and that isn't all that there is to me. Second, I really hate going to Florida. We used to live there, we don't anymore, there's a reason for that. Third, I don't fly right now. A combination of anxiety, phobias, fear and irrationality prevent me from getting on an airplane from time to time, and we are smack dab in the midst of one of those times.

But wow... my heart. I've been away from Selah before. I've been away from Chris before. I've never been away from them both at the same time. Ugh, emotions suck. Lol, it hurts so much... but it's that good pain that you wouldn't know if you hadn't felt a joy so great its absence warranted such intense pain. I'll be fine, I do need this but man... when the heart cries, the soul aches.